The Online Persona

The internet is all fake. If you were wondering.

The internet is full of news that is top news one day and a retraction the next. How do we even know what to believe and what not to believe? Anybody can post anything anywhere and declare it news. On top of that, everyone’s in the habit of deciding what’s trustworthy based on their own bias. I read quiet a few news sources throughout the day and the contrast between the reported stories is striking. I have to glean what seems to be facts and piece together some semblance of truth.

With the stronghold social media has on the internet, social media and internet have become almost synonymous. Social media has become a smorgasbord of news stories, personal anecdotes, social causes, political opinions, cat pictures, and other loads of crap. I particularly like the stories with “Share this with EVERYBODY” which usually means it’s BS. I honestly believe that the most transparent posts I read are from the friends that I would have to say lean toward being bipolar. One minute they post something interesting. The next minute they’re cussing someone out or posting a passive-aggressive against we can only guess who.

Then, the social medias are full of social justice warriors known by their passionate posts and blogs. They rally the troops to some cause with a post, all their like-minded friends like it, they share it, maybe comment strongly, and then everyone goes back to their coffee at the trendy, air conditioned coffee shop. 

What about trolls? What purpose do they play in the internet world? Lately, the majority of those I see labeled as trolls are people that disagree with an opinion or point out a flaw in a article or post. I have been called a troll on multiple occasions because I asked a question to clarify a post or comment in groups that I am part of. I honestly wanted more info but apparently that implied something unacceptable to the masses.

So if this chaos bothers me so much, why do I keep coming back? I come back because it is like watching a NASCAR race. I have no interest in NASCAR other than watching for some big wrecks and then maybe seeing a pit row fight. I don’t have enough interest to care who wins. I want to see the comments where nut-bags argue about any little thing and I hope it develops into a major spat with name calling and berating. I want to see some WWE trash talking that ends up with one participant unconscious and unable to respond.


Oh, yeah. I do read some spiritual stuff.

Have you never read in the scriptures…?

It’s vital to our Christian walk that we read our Bible. However, reading the Bible goes hand in hand with applying what we read. Sometimes that might mean that we need to act but other times we just need to recognize truth as it applies to life around us. One time Jesus told the Pharisees and Sadducees that they could tell the weather by the look of the sky but “you cannot interpret the signs of the times.”(Mt 16:3) And He told them very plainly, “You study the Scriptures diligently because you think that in them you have eternal life. These are the very Scriptures that testify about me.”(John 5:39) Later, Jesus warned that a time would come when even the elect would be led astray by false christs and false prophets(Mt 24:24). They will probably know scripture very well but won’t recognize that those charlatans are not the Christ. The only way we can learn to recognize truth is to make a habit of reading scripture and applying it to life. Jesus told a parable about some evil tenants to the priests and elders and then asked them their verdict regarding the tenants to which they responded, “put those wretches to a miserable death!”. They weren’t able to see that Jesus was talking about them. They had just judged themselves because they didn’t recognize the truth from scripture that applied. Jesus marveled, “Have you never read in the scriptures…?” and he quoted the passage that applied, Psalm 118:22-23. Surely the priests and elders knew Psalm 118? As we know, they were not in the habit of applying.

Matthew 21:42

Forgetting Jesus

I Need Guidance

I’m at the hospital hanging out with my father-in-law. He seems to be doing better.

I’ve been up here a few times and am a regular at Starbucks, the cafeteria, the crappy coffee machine in the ICU waiting room, Robert’s ICU, and the Emergency room.

Navigating the halls between all these is not intuitive. I usually cut through the Emergency room for a little people watching on the way to ICU. The only way I can make it to ICU is by following the signs. On a few trips around the building, I did’t pay attention and ended up going past my turn. When things don’t look familiar, I have to go back to check the last sign to get back on track, and sometimes even remind myself where I was going in the first place. Even if I don’t pay attention, as long as the signs are there, who can be against me?

Similarly, my mobile phone and Google can answer most questions and find directions to just about anywhere in the world in a few seconds. I can draw my phone in seconds and leave my brain in energy save mode.

Life events tend to wake you up!

“You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times.”

Life in the Raw

As my father-in-law slows down to the end of his life, I have conflicting thoughts. This may tie into my lack of compassion post; maybe not.

I’m sitting beside Robert as he struggles to stay alive. My mind wonders. When will I be on the beach again? I’m watching Modern Family, pretty funny. I took Hattie home because she felt ill. I would like a beer. I miss my dog. We haven’t got to hang out much this week. But then, here’s Robert dying.

I think I struggle with compassion but I’m not sure what I’m struggling with.

As my mind wanders, I worry about my wife and the rest of the family. Everyone will handle the end differently.

I’m sitting in my car taking a break and listening to the Eagles Desperado.

My struggle is that this is a man that has modeled life in a fashion I’ve never experienced. He was steady and never excitable. He was always focused. His attention to detail was amazing to me. I felt like a bum in the presence of a master.

But here we are in ICU watching the clock. Outside of the miracle I’m praying for, there’s just time.

My wife is sleeping in the waiting room and I’m in my car now listening to the Eagles. “There’s Gonna be a Heart Ache Tonite”. My comfort for the moment.

There are very few people I’ve learned life lessons from: my ex’s father John Reaves, my dad Billy Murray Sr., and Robert Gatlin.

All lessons from these days forward are unforeseeable.

A Random Story with no Compassion

This is a story about my lack of compassion. There’s usually a situation that causes me to be compassionate. But from time to time, I have brief life lessons that show me how uncompassionate I can be. I try to be compassionate but is an extreme effort. I think I’ll write a book…”The Uncompassionate Christian”. The struggle is real…random people are hard to like.

I’ve visited my father-in-law in the hospital the past few days and I’ve found that hospitals and malls have similarities. Upon arriving at the hospital you have only one thing on your mind: getting to your acquaintances room and see that they are doing well, then leave after a minimal amount of time. Kind of like at the shopping mall. Men at the mall: get in, get product, get out. Accomplishing these goals even require similar steps. -First there’s the parking lot, the lobby, elevators and halls to get to the target. You have to find a parking spot, walk to the hospital main hall past Starbuck’s and then work your way to the elevators and down the hallways until you reach your final destination.

It’s just plain common sense that when you go to a hospital you should be on the compassionate side because you just don’t know what everybody you come in contact with is going through. You are passing friends and relatives of people who’s children are sick, parents are dying, major surgeries, cancer, etc…You just don’t know. So lets try to make an effort, huh? The problem is it resembles a mall where it’s hard to give a damn about anybody’s wellbeing.

Lack of compassion building up:

Hospital parking lot: people laughing and taking their time crossing the street. Don’t they know tragic things are happening. After giving them the evil eye for slowly crossing the street, I pull in to the garage.

Parking: Parked next to a family getting ready to go party in the hospital. Collecting items from their car, like they were going to walk across the lot to the beach. Fun, fun!

Lobby: Starbuck’s aroma through the lobby. People are dying here and these guys a slinging caffeine like it’s going out of style. Might I make a suggestion? Full server bar.

Now the people…..

Walking in the lobby behind a family that either didn’t know where they were going or were lost. Attempt to go around is blocked by Big Mama who stopped in the middle of the crowd to ponder which direction to take. I’m able to maneuver around her and her family toward the elevator.

At the elevator, me, a nurse with a wheelchair patient, and a lady. I hit the UP arrow and two or three other walkups get on. Clearly enough room on the elevator but we had to adjust to allow the persistent others to get on. I made a funny joke telling a dad he has a monkey on his back(his daughter). They look at me and feel sorry for the old man. Little girl buried her face in her dad’s shoulder.

One lady almost got off on the wrong floor. I joked that it’s always fun getting off on a random floor and then try to figure out where you’re at….she wasn’t amused.

End compassion.

I need some practice.