No One Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen

There’s nothing like surgery to bring you around to working on the important things in life like the blog you haven’t touched since this time last year. Just think of this post as my celebratory post for a year of slacking.

Today, I’ve been off work for almost two weeks and am about to go crazy. My doctor told me I could go back to work Monday but I created a list of things that may prove that I need to go back to work ASAP:

1) Popping first beer around 3pm CST.
2) Can no longer distinguish between second breakfast and first lunch.
3) My dog stares at me when it’s time for another nap.
4) It’s difficult to answer “What do you do for a living?” honestly.
5) My phone needs recharging by noon.
6) “I had surgery” is still the answer to anyone that asks me to do something.
7) After thorough analysis, I can tell you which Facebook friends are probably
8) I’m still in pajamas when the wifey returns home from work.
9) There’s a 90 year old woman at my house who’s accomplishing like a boss while I’m sitting on the couch(because “I had surgery”).

“I am an old man and have know a great many troubles, but most of them never happened” Mark Twain

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