You know when you end up in one of those tired-ass arguments that lead to nowhere and you feel like the best way out is to fall out in the floor and pretend you’re dead? I have a couple of friends that insist on dragging out these arguments like it’s some kind of mental workout for them. I guess they’ve researched this topic, and this topic alone, their whole life and consider themselves experts.

I know the main points they will cover every time. So if I wanted to I could do a little preparation before our next meeting and have a counter argument that would knock their socks off. I just don’t have the time or interest to do it. It’s not like my understanding of this topic is going to change the way I live my life from day to day. Otherwise I would take it under careful consideration.

The one I’ve been dragged into repeatedly lately deals with “end times”. That’s right! Big surprise that it involves religion, huh? Two or three of my friends KNOW they are right on how the end of the world will play out and if you don’t agree they will follow you around like a dog with every proof they can think of. I have an idea how I think that will happen but I could never be so sure as to argue with someone defending my view.

Then this week on Facebook one of my non-arguing friends posted a comment regarding man’s free will that spit smack in the face of God’s sovereignty. This riled up the people who believe God is in control and the folks that believe that man is in control were shocked that no one agreed with them. The totality of the responses to his post created an image of the the alley scene from West Side Story. A bunch of shady characters dancing and singing with switchblade knives. (I’ve always thought that scene had to have been an accident…musical-meets-knife-fight…so ridiculous). I just went back out to Facebook to see how the verbal gang fight was going and it appears my poor friend ended up deleting his post. As an evangelical myself, I am embarrassed that this is what a watching world assumes Christians sit around and talk about all day.

The last few times I’ve seen these posts or have been in close proximity to these conversations I want to shout with vigor “CRUSH ALL BOXES!!!”. It’s an old Frank Zappa album title. I think it’s funny and it’s certainly better than feigning death or possibly punching someone in the mouth. Blurting random statements crosses my mind a lot leading me to believe I have a form of tourettes where the brain is ready to scream but it never makes my mouth say anything.

I love Jesus and love those guys too but sometimes it’s just too much.

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